The Silver Lining of a Study Abroad Gone Wrong

Everyone says study abroad is the most fun time of your life, and it was hard to accept that wasn’t true for me. I fell sick on my junior fall semester study abroad program in Cameroon, Central Africa, and the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. First they told me I had typhoid, then they told me I was pregnant (neither of which were true, thankfully), and then they prescribed two different kinds of antibiotics that didn’t help. My recurring illness was a mystery to everyone, and it left me emotionally and physically exhausted.

Speaking a new language in a new place takes a lot of energy even when you are healthy, and I realized that while I was sick, I wasn’t contributing to or learning from the program. I didn’t want to give up on it — on my welcoming host family, on the kind program staff members, on the cool friends I made, or on myself — but it was important for me to realize that I needed to put my health first. After trying everything I could to get better while I was there, including many medical tests, different medicines, using bottled water for everything (even brushing my teeth!), and resorting to the BRAT (bananas/rice/applesauce/toast) diet, I was still sick, and I decided to go home.

So, after a month in Cameroon, I took personal leave from Brown for the rest of the semester and flew back to the United States. (As a logistical note, I chose personal leave over medical leave because I was positive I wanted to return to Brown for the spring semester and personal leave has less steps for re-enrolling.) The doctors on the East Coast couldn’t diagnose my illness either, but once I was home it started to disappear. I spent a month at home in New Jersey getting better, resting, hanging out with my family, and reading Infinite Jest. Then I felt healthy again and I still had almost three months before Brown’s spring semester started. I looked for other ways to create what my semester abroad was supposed to be: an exciting semester away. At the time, I was in the process of applying for Spanish citizenship, and I needed to learn enough Spanish to pass a language exam. I’d been meaning to learn Spanish for a long time, but had been focusing on the French that brought me to Cameroon. With my newfound free time, I decided to commit myself to learning Spanish.

After some internet research and a few recommendations from friends, I ended up taking immersive Spanish language classes in Panama, on these beautiful islands called Bocas del Toro. It was everything I wanted out of a study abroad — living with a host family, spending six hours a day in class practicing a language, making friendships that would last well beyond my time there, and all with the autonomy and free time to explore the islands.

Panama was the happiest month I could have imagined, and it made me look at the bright side of my unexpected journey. I had an incredible time in Bocas, whether it was conjugating verbs in Spanish class, trying to separate my izquierda from my derecha in yoga, taking water taxis between the islands, playing pool with my Spanish teacher and his friends for “extra language practice,” or biking to a beach I hadn’t seen yet. I am so grateful that my semester turned out the way it did.

Finally, I came back to Providence early to take a RISD winter session. I moved into a house off campus which let me settle into a really welcoming space, and the winter session was a great way to transition back after a semester away. The class was fun and humbling (I still think one of the bravest things I did in 2018 was hang my homework on the wall with the RISD students’ pieces for critique). Now I am appreciative of all the experiences I had during my semester off, and I am so glad to be a point-fiver.